OK … Breath!

I have an evil heart .. and that’s true!
Sometime I don’t even recognize myself , it almost like an outer body experience… you feel that your bipolar taking control and you just cant do anything about it. Example today, I said many words that might hurt people’s feeling and somehow I don’t regret it… see?  beware…130 pound Satan running loose! (yeah so what I’m fat? you have problem?)

Anyway … I went back to see my doctor and he gave me another tension free medication which i think, though I overdosed it, I will never be as charming as Britney spears … (oh wait wrong example! but anyway you got my point!) it’s just that no matter what or how many pills I take I will always be a Satan-evil-twin.

He gave me advises and I slept with my eye open…. literally. (Me and my charming attitude)

He said I let too many anger reside within me and need a long break and more counseling! <—- ye rite and add more pennies to your wallet!!!

The main point is he said why his method was failed is simply because I somehow reject it, I don't want to be healed (WTF?)

So… I did what normal people do, I transferred myself to another doctor!! HELL YEAH I DID! I DID NOT ACCEPT FAILURE! AND I DID NOT ACCEPT SMART ASS doctor whose think I love to be an ill mental freak! I'm perfect and awesome!

Breath R**** breath! (i censored my name cause my mom prolly read this and I'm afraid she'll regret having me as child even more.. and I can't do that ….)

will visit this new doctor this Friday!lets just hope that allllll is fine! BOMBAIYEEEEAH!

Wish you all a wonderful evening and a happy birthday!

Reason Behind Ducktape Invention!

Some people were so gifted, no need to do anything, just by its present, they already ruin people’s mood!

How do I begin?!?

1st is her voice. She has this super annoying voice that can even wake mummy from its long sleep. Her voice sound so friggin annoying! CERTAINLY She’s the reason why ducktape were invented at the 1st place.

I did my best to block her voice from my head by turn the ipod vol but it didn’t worked. It seems that she has somekind of super speaker on her mouth that helps rid all barriers!

Dude! She has successfully ruin every morning sense I have.

2nd; her 2 face attitude, well what kind I say this kind of creature should be taken out and shot (period!)

3rd; kissing ass personality (the worst) I think hell has a special section dedicated for this kind of people!

Can she please be gone?Please God, take her away from me…give her a better job,where its close to her house,triple salary and lots of bonuses…enough to kick her away from my life… thanks God

The Mum, The Birthday and The Mall <– the most creative title in the world, literally!

On my way to meet my mum to celebrate my dad’s birthday.

My mum kinda sentimental since morning, awfully helpful and forced us to celebrate dad’s b’day by having a family dinner. Yeah dinner, sitting together and have a quality time, (if we remember how to…) all of us  has been so caught up with stuffs, we almost forget that we do have family.

Me with my new job, my sisters with her new project (she’s a PO at this Event Organizer and currently handling a very big event. She has to travel province to province to support this event) My little sister and her friends (lately prefer to sleep over at her friend’s place, so we hardly meet) and my mum, she’s a full time mum but she’s busier than any of us… (with her religious activity, social stuff, party .. bla bla bla …)

Today we’re going to have dinner at the most convenient place in the world, “THE MALL”. Only God know why my retard sister chose that place. I mean… like seriously! that place packed with people! not mention all the kids running around … i mean dude… Mall + Weekend = TOTAL CHAOS!

The rain pour heavily as I tried to get in to the bus. Oh yeah.. probably because ITS friggin weekend so  I cant get any taxiiii…

(Goodness jakarta, what can I say you have lost your persona… traffic jam, criminals, shady alley, smelly guys on bus, sudden weather change, dirty street, lack of clean water, homeless people yeahh alll that things that can change sane people to monstrous form….)

Anyway I landed safely at the mall. Actually, just like any other normal girl out there I love Mall specially the shoe stores but man.. this place is packed! I mean really PACKED.. I keep accidentally hit people (yes true I hate surround with lots of people, it makes me insecure and nervous andas a result I get clumsier . Totally lame, honest!)

Meet up with my mum, and she looked happy, i mean really happy and perky, almost like a 5 years old with balloon but in a muuucchhh grown up version (she’s not wearing polkadot baby-doll so please erase it from your imagination) and guess what??! I get all sentimental and sappy just to see that ( yes ladies and gentlemen i do have hearth, not just a rumor, its true)

The mall-ing turn out great actually, we have dinner then shoe adventure, we chat, we laugh … it was OK. I guess we were to tired to argue and that make us sane.We talk a bout stuffs even taking pictures. Today is probably the best weekend i had so far in the last few months… (OK I emphasized it a bit, but twas good!)

Well that’s pretty much all… i’ll spare you from too much details (not just I dont remember any of those details but its also so very boring) .. adios .. very tired gonna get my beauty sleep and hope waking up in a more exiting life!

Pop’s birthday! HHOOVVAAHH!

Sept 25th is my dad’s birthday. Word cannot describe how i miss him…

Its been more than 3 years since he passed away and we still cant move on completely. He’s a great person and amazing father. His life weren’t always easy but he keep standing tall. He always said what he think, hate crap and never bow to anybody beside God. He’s funny, lovable and probably the kindest man ever!

I know my mum and sisters sometime still crying alone at night remembering him and honestly me too but I guess God have its own plan, i really do hope will see him again on the other side (thats prolly if i dont stuck at hell for he rest of my death cycle)….

I remember when i was kid i asked myself what would i do if he passed away… and the answer was.. i’ll die with him.

True, part of me died with him that day, twas probably the worst day in my life. that damn 3 o’clock phone conversation. I despite that day … 5th March 2007….

huaahhhh  enough for this whole sentimental crappppp…. OK dad where ever you are will see you soon, Rest In Peace and dont flirt to0 much with those angels kay..

-R

24092010< supposedly published at 24th

Pay day! Yay!but the money just passing by, it went directly to credit card publisher’s pocket…. Daammnn I’m So brokee..!been telling myself credit card is evilll but keep using it! Double crap! I HATE CC!!

BTW my day has been quite OK, I love the weather and actually enjoy my time at the office. Just realized that I finally work! I mean working in a real office, with suit, cubicle, 10th floor view, office politic and nosy colleague …. Yeah pretty much same old shit but I love the fact that its not a small agency or family company like at the past. This new company listen to what I said, and actually need my expertise ..unlike the old one where I was only a living statue.

I’m glad years of torment were paid off. I’m good at this and like it! (other thing that I just found out)…

23092010

7.00 AM:

Big day today! Final test! today I’m going to present the project I’ve been working on these past 3 months to my CMO…. From this I’ll know whether I pass probation or not.

Now I’d better get ready!will tell you the detail later…. Wish me luck! Hopefully I could break a leg!ta ta!

9.00 AM:

I don’t know is It good thing or a bad thing but he’s so busy he don’t have time for my presentation… So here I am try to fix my presentation that tentatively scheduled to be presented tomorrow.

It makes me sleepy… very very..very sleepy….. Sooo very sleepy…. I need to get more sleep

Its me…. again :)

hi..how are you?its me I write again.. (awkward huh?!?)
definitely don’t know why I write these whole journal thingies again *sigh… I think its because I want to share my boring life and spread boring virus to the world!

like usual my life is like constantly the same, its like i’ve been trapped in the dungeon of asshaterry and there’s no way out. It keep sucking me in like dust to vacuum!

Anyway I moved!… Again…this new office is actually pretty cool! I have city view from my cubicle. My job isn’t bad either, I work on Branding division, I make the brand visible! THRILL! <– see how ecstatic I am!!! and as a slayer for spare time, you know… catching bad guy,kicking vampire asses and the whole saving the world heroic act….

Thank you for actually reading my journal,you’re prolly one of the few good people God created. For those of you who don’t, you’re prolly few smart people God created, Good Job!

Well that’s for the introduction,hopefully I haven’t lost the touch (meaning: I still remember how to spell) bye!

-R

The Wonderful Office Life

Why I have to be freakin sensitive and moody?as a result —> ridiculous mood since morning, I feel like crying with no fucking reason… God help!

The office still full with crap if I might say, but its the price you have to pay as you’re getting older and NEED TO WORK to survive. I don’t get it why growing up can be so suucckkkss. The “think before you talk” soon will turn me to retard. Office life sucks…there I said it again!

I hate pretending to be somebody else just to be fit in but it seems I need to do it since I haven’t even passed my probation (more like “parole” in my case).I’m so totally will open my own office and number 1 thing I will do is hire badass workers and kick rules away!

I got complained with how I dressed, HOW I DRESSED DOESN’T effect my job or my brainwork you piece of shit! Its just how I express my self, get the hell away from me and mind your own business!! *sigh

I guess that’s it, I need to start working now… ta ta!

08022010

OK maybe just maybe you were having a blast last night but seriously dude!!!
House music at 6 AM?? Which intergalactic planet were you nest before?

Earth calling…. Act human for God sake!

And they said don’t judge a book by its cover translation don’t judge a guy by his music taste? FAILED!

HE’s A PLAYER!

HE’s a player!but

…………………………My brain has failed me once again! It wont stop thinking about him.. *sigh*
I’m in denial mode and somehow it making me upset.
Why my mind keep telling me bad things and creating stupid fantasies?
I cant work .. (well half part because i’m soo sleepy, and the other because of him, oh I STILL EAT by the way, sucks)

HE’s A PLAYER! this is mantra I made to secure and bring my mind back!

HE’s A PLAYER! and he’s not interested!

HE’s A PLAYER! and I’m not interested!

HE’s A PLAYER! HE’s A PLAYER! HE’s A PLAYER!